8 years ago Mr. Branflake and I started dating in the summer knowing that come Fall he would go back to school two states away in Utah. As summer came to an end we had to decide: break up and carry on with our lives, have me move out to Utah and follow him, have him transfer to a school in California, or try a long distance relationship. In his eyes, if we went the long distance route our relationship's chances of surviving were slim (he is the most pragmatic and logical person on earth). In my eyes, there was no one else I wanted to marry but him.
By this point we had only been dating for, um, maybe two months. I knew I wanted to marry Mr. Branflake. He, as boys typically are, was a little unsure although he knew he loved me and was the first to tell me so.
So I picked up all my bags and moved to Utah. I left behind an awesome job as a behavior therapist, my family, my friends, and my schooling. But I didn't mind because I knew he was the man for me.
I know what you're thinking: This does not sound like the smart, independent, sassy pants Branflake we all know. And you're right- I am a totally different person than I was eight years ago. I moved away without even a ring on my finger or a promise of marriage. Heck, I didn't even have a job lined up for me in Utah. But I did have an apartment lined up (thank goodness).
It could have easily turned out very badly.
But I told him "Don't worry. If it doesn't pan out between us then I'll just move back to California or find me another man out in Utah." I, at least, did have a plan b and c.
I viewed this as an adventure and just like any adventure there would be highs and lows and unexpected encounters. Looking back, one might have thought my life was horrible. I was juggling four part time low paying jobs, my roommates were crazy (CRAZY!) and most nights I didn't see Mr. Branflake until about ten at night after his classes were done. But I was happy, really happy. I have no explanation other than that I loved an adventure and I knew one day I would look back and just laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Okay, that's not entirely true. I was also convinced that if I stayed long enough I'd eventually get a proposal. I did (obviously) but I cringe to think I was that girl who gave up everything for love. I don't know if it's romantic or weak (or maybe both) but it is what it is and it turned out wonderfully. He is the epitome of the perfect guy.
Seriously, if you don't think Mr. Branflake is the sweetest guy ever you need to read this and this and this and this.
Have you ever given up everything for love?
How did it turn out?
Read about my love story and our first kiss.
37 comments:
No never:)
But I love your story...
Have a great week
What a love story...!I 'm glad things turned out the way they did for you!
Wow. That is CRAZY! What an amazing story Tiffany!
I don't think it's weak, necessarily. It is a bit crazy, though! But honestly, when you know, you know. You took an adventurous risk for who you knew that you love--that's not weak at all! It's crazy brave.
Your move definitely wasn't weak - it takes a strong person to go after the possiblity of what could be and give it a chance.
There are so many people who don't go after what they want because of the possibility of failure and they miss out on so much!
A person will never attain their dreams if they don't take that leap.
You took that leap and look where you are today - a husband you love and who loves you and a career you are passionate about.
I've taken leaps multiple times in my life - and sometimes I failed horribly, and sometimes things turn out better than I could have ever imagined. And I have never, ever regretted trying.
When I am old and grey my plan is to regret some of the crazy things I did, but have no regrets over the things I didn't try when I had the chance.
Oh, Tiff!.. We are soul-mates in this matter :) After dancing in NYC as a guest artist in spring, I had a VERY, VERY awesome contract with the company ( let's just say, a dancer's dream. Many don't get that lucky after years and years of performing with the company ) I went back to UT to pick up the remainder of my stuff ( as I only took the bare necessities for the 3 months I was freelancing with the Co), and also get my transcripts "in hand", thinking to continue later with the degree. ( as contract was WELL worth ANY degree - both, financially and resume wise). And... In 4 weeks that I had in between, I meet a guy... :) A REALLY good guy :) Granted, I DID tell him that I was not going to stick around "just because" and was completely on schedule for leaving... So he proposed 2 days before my flight :) And I accepted. It took me 7 years after that to get back to NYC to dance, but it was well worth in - the wait and the experience from all sides :)
I hate that attitude people usually take about "that girl who gave up her life for the man". I was definitely there once (for Mardy), and I got so much flack for it. But no one else is in your situation, no one else knows what it really is like. And they can advise you all they want, but at the end of the day, whether it's the right choice or the wrong choice, YOU are the one who has to live with it. I'm so proud of you, to hear that you were brave enough to give up your life of security for the man you love! And it sounds like it WAS an adventure (now I want to sit down with you over a cup of coffee and talk about your time in Utah!). Good for you, Tiffany :)
I still joke ( sort of :)) that he cost me $140K :) A VERY expensive purchase :)
ha - this is a craaaazy story but i love it so much. i don't see it weak at all. i think independent women can be romantic too!
You guys are so sweet!
Sometimes you just know somethings are right from you and you just got to take a leap of faith and hope things turn out right.
Xoxo
Sarah
Aww, this is so sweet! I love this, thanks for sharing! I don't know if I'd say I've given up everything for love (though I do love my husband more than anyone else, I was just fortunate enough to not have to give up too much for him). But he's definitely given up a ton for me! We moved a thousand miles away from our families and friends, so he could afford for me to be at home with our sweet babies. I am ready to return that favor for him whenever he needs me to give up something so important, because he is the most important man to me!
That is just the sweetest story ever! You knew it was meant to be so you followed your heart. I never had to give up everything but I definitely would :) xoxo
Aww, this is such a sweet post. Have you ever posted your engagement story here?! Because I'd kinda like to hear it. :]
Yay for having a plan b & c. haha
Girl I have given up EVERYTHING for love....we should email.
I loved reading this post. Woot!!
xo,
C
i gave up someone for love for myself... he was not right for me so it was better for me to leave him and be happy apart...
I'm a hopeless romantic... and I loved this story. Well done =)
- Sarah
http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com/
dang it. you did it again bran.. you wrote a post that speaks right to the tiny little voice in my head. how do you know??
right now i am dating someone I have known most of my life, but am getting to know in a new way.. and it just seems to get better.. someone who puts me at ease and gives me butterflies at the same time. how does he DO that?
But my move to NYC is comming up here at the first of nov (already bought my ticket) and he has ZERO desire to move out of state. like.. EVER. oi.
Looks like your the brave one my friend. very brave. you stuck to your gut, and luckily your gut was listening VERY closly to your heart.
Sometimes I think I made John give up everything-after my senior year, he had another year of undergrad left. Instead of putting off my Masters I moved across the country to San Francisco, 3000 miles away from my guy, my family and my friends-and hoped that he would follow me! He did, thank goodness, but it was definitely a pivotal moment in our relationship, and John's willingness to move proved to me how serious he was about a lifetime. Now I'm feeling all gushy about him!
was 8 years ago when you were full-on dating? or is that when you had your first date? your love story is so romantic. it's one of those things that was probably extremely disappointing and confusing at the time, but looking back, wow! he chose you twice, even though he didn't remember you the first time. swoon! :)
i wouldn't say i moved to san francisco for dannon, but i guess you could say it was for love, or at least the possibility of love. we had dated in college and it didn't work out, even though there was a lot of potential. i had to get out of my small town and had fallen in love with san francisco when i helped dannon move. i definitely didn't want to make things worse by still moving there after we broke up, but 6 months had gone by and i hoped we had both moved past it enough to be able to share a big city. i decided to leave it up to fate. i had NO money and was barely paying rent each month. i told myself that if i somehow got the money to move i would take it as a sign from god that i was supposed to move to SF. a couple weeks before i graduated my financial advisor called me and said a loan had just been dispersed late and i now had $4000 extra that i could withdraw and use. so i bought my one-way ticket and moved a few weeks later. i had no idea if dannon and i would be friends at all, let alone fall in love again, so i was definitely not holding out hope. but a part of me felt like i had to put myself in a position where i could find out for sure once and for all, so i wouldn't look back and always wonder "what if?" as we all know now, that was the best decision i could have made. i had the most liberating experience of my life starting out all on my own with only $4k and two boxes of belongings. and of course, after a couple years being around each other again, dannon and i couldn't help but fall in love.
g/f, I think it sounds romantic!!! i do! and if i'm in cali i'll definitely come crash your pad :) I'll make a tour from you to nikki, or we can just go to gether :)
You are so lucky!
What a beautiful story. I did that once, but with the wrong man.
Yup, I'm usually too embarrassed to tell my story but since you asked.. I moved to Australia for love, I had never been there before and had no job lined up.. and it was a success! I think it is important to know that he is willing to do the same!
xx Cristina
I'm convinced we know immediately if the other is 'the one'. I asked my man after our first night if we should marry... and we did (10 years later :)
That girl is still a girl that lives love and is willing to fight for it. I moved to two countries after marrying my husband and it was pretty difficult feeling overeducated and underemployed. But that has been a part of this crazy journey. It's not always an easy one but it us interesting (and now I get to spend a lot of time in Asia!)
xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
I don't think you're weak or anything at all!!! In fact, I admire your courage for doing that!!! If love isn't crazy and shocking in certain ways, it's hardly love, is it? You should have a movie made about you!
Belly B :)
My ex (now my husband) went to college in his early 20's. By the time we met in the college, I was already a junior and he just started his freshman year. So I graduated 2 years before him. Then I was offered a scholarship for PhD in Neuroscience in Bangkok a month after my graduation. The university was about 2 hours driving distance from my previous college.
I was a very study-oriented person. Obtaining a PhD has been a dream throughout my college years. So I accepted the offer and moved most of my stuff to the new apartment. The first night there was a sleepless night - I kept asking myself, - Is this what I really want? What will happen to my relationship with this man, if we don't get to meet very often?
The next day I went to an Internet cafe at one of the shopping malls in Bangkok and emailed my college dean. I asked her whether there's still any opening for tutor. A few hours later I got a reply from her and she said yes.
On that same evening I moved back to the college and started a to work a few days later. It was my first job after graduation and the pay was not much.
We got married at the college church, right after he completed his theological studies. Then we came back to Malaysia a month later. He was assigned to serve at a church in Ipoh, a small city about 200km north of Kuala Lumpur.
I never thought of coming back to Malaysia after college. I never feel belong to this country, because of unfair political and racial policies. I was thinking of staying in Thailand or going to the U.S. When I first came back to Malaysia after getting married, I was having cultural shock. I really really didn't like it here. I was jobless and had no friends in Ipoh. I almost went into depression during the first few months.
With the help of my husband, I found a lecturing job 6 months later. Then I slowly got used to living in Malaysia. It's already been four years!
I have never regretted the decision of giving my PhD - if I didn't, the relationship probably wouldn't last and I wouldn't be happily married now.
You can do PhD anywhere (now we even have distance learning), but a good man is hard to come by. Once you meet one, it's worth giving up everything just to be with him.
That's the power of love! :-)
Sometimes, when you know it's right, I think it's ok to be "that girl". It worked out in the end and that's all that matters. I think you have such a great story!
I swore up and down that I would never get married, but I knew when my husband and I started dating that I would be much happier with him than with anything else.
Looks like you proved that love can conquer all lady!
I think you're truly courageous Tiffany!
ps: my apology for missing the guest post, sweetie. hope you understand my circumstances lately.
much love to you both! Lurrrve happy ending!
Oh, I love your story. How can you even suggest it was weak? It was BRAVE. You knew your heart, you didn't doubt, your trusted your instincts and you did not let fear or anxiety hold you back and in return you found the man of your dreams. Thanks for sharing. xoxo
But I told him "Don't worry. If it doesn't pan out between us then I'll just move back to California or find me another man out in Utah." I, at least, did have a plan b and c.
LOLOLOLOL! A smart girl always has a plan b and c in her back pocket. glad you did not have to resort them! :)
Oh sweetheart, so happy that all turned out as you wanted and you followed your heart, and yes another thing we will someday too hang out for real, seriously!! I adore you as a person and for all of your amazing support! Definitely consider you a real truel friend :)
xoxo
I used to be willing to give up everything for love, but I've learned that I shouldn't have to be the only one in the relationship willing to give it all up. I'm so glad it worked out for you and Mr. B. What you was so gutsy.
My boyfriend of nearly two years is moving back to Burlington VT at the end of the month to pursue a career at his step father's company. It's a great opportunity and I'm fully supportive of him, however very scared of what our relationship will become.
We are going to try the long distance relationship thing for a while. With visits and skype I'm hoping it doesn't set us back any. I would like to consider moving there - however, it's such a big move! I have so much going on here in Rochester NY, where my family is and my dance school I co-direct. It's such a difficult decision, but what wouldn't you do for the man you love.
I'm glad I'm not the only one put in this difficult situation. I'm glad it worked out for you, and hope the same for me
xx
it's brave! :)
I have never given up everything for a person, but I think if that person is worth it, then go for it. It's a great risk, but great risks sometimes lead to great rewards. You're proof. :)
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