Have you ever lost someone close to you?
If so, how did you grieve?
What helped? What didn't?
What are your beliefs about life after death?
How does this belief change your views about mortality?
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photo from a weekend trip in Lake Tahoe
How does this belief change your views about mortality?
Comments can be left anonymously by clicking 'anonymous' in the comment box.
But, as per usual, they certainly don't have to be anonymous.
But, for those who really want to get personal without the trail,
anonymity is always an option.
photo from a weekend trip in Lake Tahoe
15 comments:
I have never had anyone really close to me pass away before; that said, I'm terrified of it happening. What do I do once someone really close to me dies? Someone who I see on a daily basis who is no longer there? How can I move on from that, and better my life? I guess for me, death is more laden with questions and terror than anything else.
I've had grandparents die, and especially with my dad's dad that was incredibly hard.
However, the death that was the hardest for me was a friend that was 22. It just kills me to know that he loved life SO MUCH and it was taken from him so soon. He and I had a lot of discussions on love and I know he looked forward to finding the woman he would marry, to having a family with her and growing old together. And to this day it hurts me to know he'll never get that.
Death really scares me. It's the unknown that is just terrifying for me. Maybe it's because I'm young still but I just can't imagine one day not walking on this earth.
I'm taking a death & dying psychology course in college now so a lot of my beliefs are changing as I learn new information. However, that being said, I'm afraid of dying too young and leaving behind my love ones as well as being forgotten by the 3rd generation after me. I think it's human nature to ant to leave a permanent mark on the world. Fortunately, I have not lost anyone so I'm not familiar with the grieving process.
This post is so timely for me right now. I just lost a friend from high school to complications from surgery (a blood clot) about 2 weeks ago.
Moreso than what is helping me, I have found myself at such a loss for words of what to say to his family and to his friends that were closer to him than I was.
I think that just being sincere and genuine, and always there to listen is helpful. I also think that if you are not immediate family, it is best not to be too in the family's face. Just let them know that you are there and give them a certain level of space and privacy.
oh, this brings up such deep emotions... I am not even sure I want to go there. All I can say - I don't want it. Due time for everything. I want to enjoy life, love my dearests, and live happily. There is time for everything. Right now I want to have live and be happy.
Being older, yes, I have experienced loss. I see death as a part of the cycle of life, as in nature, and realise that I have to let go of that bodily person and take their memories on with me; so that person is never totally lost to me.
Yes I unfortunately have a lot of experience with losing very dear loved ones. I actually nursed and was with my father-in-law and my two best friends when they all passed from cancer. It's such a life altering experience to watch someone die.
It's all been so tragic but it has definitely had a profound effect on my life. I guess some good has come of it all because I try to live every day to the fullest. But I am scared to get too close to people because I can't bear to experience such a loss again.
I lost my father, unexpectedly and overnight, when I was 6 years old, so I grew up with a better understanding of death and how it affects along with how we can thrive from watching my mother.
It's scary, but Peter Pan was right--"Death would be an awfully big adventure." It's one I'll experience with Christ guiding me through.
I used to be so afraid of other people dying - I didn't want to live without them and couldn't imagine losing them from my life. I've experienced a few deaths of close friends and family and it's still something I so very much fear.
However, I'm now much more afraid of dying myself. Is that weird? I don't want to die. I don't want to not be here to experience all that the world has to offer. I really love my life and all the people and experiences in it and I'm really afraid for it to end. I feel like that sounds so selfish and while I feel like death will bring new life, this fear of dying keeps growing stronger.
Anyone else afraid of dying themselves?
I'm actually not afraid of dying and that kind of scares me. I often think, "Hmmm.... if I die it would be no big deal. No one would really care. Life would go on." I guess it just stems to the fact that I have nothing to look forward to in life. I'm just going through the motions at this point.
What a thought-provoking post, and wonderful answers. My grandfather passed away about 2 and a half years ago, and I wasn't able to join my family to grieve. It was also a deeply difficult time in my parents' marriage, and I think so much of those emotions have just been stored somewhere I can't really access. I think of him often, and miss him terribly, but I feel like I missed out on truly grieving.
i lost three grandparents within three months. this happened several years ago. it was difficult. very difficult. so very hard. the funerals, the family situations, the guilt of feeling you weren't that great of a granddaughter, the knowing you will never see them again, the thoughts of your own mortality and the mortality of those that you love -- it is brutal. and the older you get, the more often you seem to face these issues.
i don't know what happens after death. i think this is it, but i know a lot of people believe in an afterlife, and maybe that helps. maybe? but probably not all that much.
my family is super religious, and their minds are put at ease somewhat if one with their beliefs dies, as they assume that person will be in heaven and they will reunite with them soon. when someone dies that does not share their beliefs (meaning: wasn't baptized), they are very very very upset. so, when they look at me and one of my sisters, they worry very much that we will burn in hell for all of eternity since we are not baptized and don't share their beliefs. eeek. this is hard for them.
i have no great advice for dealing with death. reach out to those that you love, or withdraw. but the pain is unavoidable. it is just really hard.
sorry for the long comment!
just have to know we are here for something we have to know by ownself what to do it for, and dont please do not be clamped. just leave them... just be love! ask if u have a question for evyryrhing haw love will do?:) yes.ilost my grand mom. she was excellent grandmo. when i had dresm with her just told her i have dream with u,and she told me: i know. comon......if she know..what she saw?what she know?:) well..tell u little secret:) no:) not here. but believe me i can see eveyrthing! not just what u can catch:)
I lost my 10 yr old sister at 14yrs old to a tragic drowning in a river. I remember every single detail like it was yesterday. One that really will always stick out in my mind: The state park was about an hour and a half away from our home... by the time we got back home our house was flooded with 30+ people (cooking, cleaning, making phones calls, and lots of holding and hugging) this will always be such a beautiful testimony of what community is all about -these people flooded us with hope, love, servanthood and more and not just the day of or after but months and months and even years later. My sister Kayla Rochelle only 9yrs old made such an impact -3 baby girls would be named after her in honor of her years later.
Secondly, I remember no more than 5 minutes after walking into our home filled with people -my Dad took us (my mom and two younger brothers) into their room, locked the doors, grabbed my mom's arms, knelt down in front of us all and started repeatedly saying to my mom, "We will not ever be mad at each other, we will not blame each other, we will not let this separate us, we will never run from God but too God." I can not express as a teenage at the time witnessing the strength of my father trusting in his Eternal Father to be the LIfter of our head and hearts. I knew we were going to all be okay. I knew my parents were going to cling to each other. And I knew my sister was face to face with her Creator. At that with those specific hopes -then in addition it would be time that helped us all to move on yet without ever forgetting about her and her legacy.
cry. cry and cry and cry. even if you're in the middle of the supermarket and you feel it come...hot foot it to the toilets and cry. talk about it, write about it, pull those feelings up from your stomach and look them right in the eye and tell them its okay, and that they can be as big as they want, and then they have to go away again. then pull up your socks, and know that this world is too amazing and too big and too unknown for there to be nothing after death.. even if its not heaven, or hell, or reincarnation, there is SOMETHING. if we can contemplate what that something might be...then it exists..and your lost one, is there. and just because they are not here, does not mean they are gone. death is just the beginning of another journey.
kisses
xxxx
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