I'm not gonna sugar coat it: last week was an ugly week. I mean, it was wonderful in that my ballet students were amazing and it was my birthday. But all last week I felt ugly. So much so that I had a few breakdowns and a vow I would either have to change my attitude or my entire body via plastic surgery (uh... dramatic much, Branflake?)
Bless Mr. Branflake's heart, he had to hear all of it. He listened to me complain about my stomach, butt, thighs, face, etc. How he's still attracted to me is beyond my understanding (men like confident women, not high strung hot messes with self-esteem issues), but he was a saint nonetheless.
What do you say to a woman with all these issues? I think after years of experience, Mr. Branflake has it figured out.
One night in bed, after I curled up sad about my not so flat stomach, he simply pulled me into his arms and said calmly:
"I want to take you on a romantic vacation to Europe. Just you and me. We'll go to Paris and walk the streets together. Then we'll go to Italy and see the sights. Then we'll go to Scotland and you'll show me all the places you visited. How does that sound?"
Apparently, it sounded amazing because I was asleep seconds later and ever since I've been dreaming about our romantic European vacation. Mr. Branflake knows he will never 'cure' me of my body image issues, but he sure knows how to make a woman smile.
Do you suffer from 'ugly times?'
I know a lot of us do. If so, what helps you move past them?
I know a lot of us do. If so, what helps you move past them?
1st image by Luxury Launches
2nd image Henri Cartier Bresson
3rd image by Mikkel Vang
4th image by Peter Turnley
5th image by Patchwork Photography
I think everyone suffers from feeling ugly, every now and then. For me lately, I have issues with getting old. I allow my mind to go that whole plastic surgery route too, which is ridiculous, and goes against everything I believe in.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, we are our own worst critics, and I happen to think you're beautiful. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend, just like I'm sure Mr. Branflake isn't saying it just because he's your husband. (It's true.) :]
Oh Tiffany, I thought it was just me, I go through that all the time and ageing isn't helping. I'm looking forward to hearing what the wise commenters say.
ReplyDelete@Hollie- Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Tabitha- Me, too! These commenters are very wise, aren't they?
it's funny how we think that we are the only ones that goes through these things - esp when you are the one in the middle of it. but yes, i totally have those days! so sorry you had an ugly week - but know that the mirror or even our feelings are not the most reliable sources most of the time. love you - and know that you are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteAnd do you know mine is mostly about my stomach too! No matter how low my weight, I'v been 8 stone and 12 stone, I have always had a pouchy belly, it just won't go, it's nothing to do with muscle tone, it's my genetic pot of fat and makes me feel so yuk,
ReplyDelete@Tabitha- Me, too! Even in my super skinny not healthy days, I still had a pouch. Drove me crazy!!!! Being a size two and wanting to buy Spanx is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteOh darling, I don't know where to begin. First, your Mr. B is an awesome man and I'm so glad he's able to make you feel better and show you how beautiful you are. Second, sometimes I think it's inevitable that we women suffer from body or self esteem issues. There is a natural ebb and flow to our emotions -- we can't feel perfect and confident all of the time. I bet that models even have times where they feel less than comfortable in their skin. That said, you are beautiful -- outside, inside, upside, downside, leftside, rightside. (Almost sounds like a line from a Dr. Seuss book, no?) Maybe the key is making body gratitude lists when we get in such funks?
ReplyDeleteThank you , Brandi. And yes, that would make a terrific Dr. Seuss book. You would be a fantastic children's writer (among all your other talents).
DeleteI have had many less of those days since I began avoiding wearing tight clothing like bathing suits and leotards, which has been the case for several years. (I wear a sort of "mommy" bathing suit.)
ReplyDeleteBut face is harder. The other day, my husband walked by as I was staring in the mirror and promptly said, "Stop imaginging yourself with a nose job!" Yeah, he knows me well.
Wait- is the European vacation real? Is that the post-Bar trip or was he just saying that?
I love your nose! With your high cheek bones and big eyes, you have a very regal and model-like face.
DeleteI get frustrated when I don't get to loose weight...or I gain a few pounds. Love certainly helps me to get over those issues, see the big picture and wrap up the 'pity party.' However, I try not to rely too much on other people to get over my personal issues. I want/try to be able to do that by myself. XOXO
ReplyDeleteYes! Exactly! Both he and I know he wont be the one to change me and that I have to change myself. But he's determined to make life as sweet as possible while I do it.
DeleteMr. Branflake sure knows how to soothe you :) I think we all suffer from ugly times now and then. I'm also lucky enough to have an amazing husband who is quick to reassure and move me past it.
ReplyDeleteRowena @ rolala loves
I'm sorry about your bad week. I had that recently, just wasn't feeling pretty. So, is that trip really going to happen? Hope so!
ReplyDeleteUsually getting my period helps me get over them- I have serious uglies when I'm PMSing
ReplyDeleteI agree, I think we all go through times like that. I was terribly insecure about my appearance when I was younger, and I've only now started to embrace my body, my imperfections and I'm actually more comfortable now than I ever was in my 20's. But there are still way too many days when I don't like something about myself, and I really want to make sure that I don't pass that attitude onto my daughter.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think you are a beautiful person. : )
Awww he's so sweet. And I go through those phases too. There's so much social pressure out there, but most importantly, just know that no one is perfect and the man who loves you most in the world loves you just the way you are! xoxo
ReplyDeleteFirst of all you have an AMAZING body - let's just set that straight.
ReplyDeleteBut women are so funny about that, we all are. It doesn't matter how many times people compliment us, we always fixate on the negatives. It's such a shame.
I'm sorry you had an "ugly week"... we all know how that feels. I'm glad you have such a wonderful husband (who, by the way, is very lucky to have such a gorgeous woman as a wife!).
xo
Being insecure is a total woman thing to do. It's easy to see flaws. It's HARD to be confident. there are good weeks and bad weeks and that's ok.
ReplyDeleteplus, I love that he said that. :D
oh I have ugly times alright, I think everyone does... its part of our human nature to compare ourselves with others, I feel beautiful most of the time, but then I see girls with longer legs, perfect hair, flawless skins while wearing no makeup and I am like "ok, i need to be reborn into a new body".... truth is, its all in our head. We all are unique and beautiful in our own way :)
ReplyDeleteBut Tiffany, you are the prettiest girl in the world - if you doubt your body what should we normal people say?!? What a sweetheart Mr B is!
ReplyDeleteI felt pretty ugly last week too... my face was breaking out and I have split ends like crazy and that was SO frustrating.
ReplyDeleteBut like you, I have an amazing guy who calls me beautiful ALL THE TIME. And that's pretty awesome.
Tiffany you are GORGEOUS. Seriously, your smile alone is totally amazing. So please know we all think you're beautiful, and so does your amazing hubs.
aww this is precious! Mr. B made me smile! He loves you! and Europe? go girl! ;)
ReplyDeletexx
b
omg!!! WHAT A VACATION!!! ack! ay yi yi! i am a little jealous! it will be SO FUN!!!
ReplyDeletebody images. OHMYLORD do i ever have them. today i think i look cute.....FOR BEING SUCH A PORKER! i feel like everybody looks at me and thinks i would look a LOT better if i were (was?) thinner. they might think that. they might not. they probably couldn't care less. ugh!!!! i know i would look better if i was thinner and younger, but i figure i have to work with what i've got. it is a struggle. i want to eat more and weigh less. THAT DOESN'T COMPUTE! which annoys me!!!!! it is hard to think about the good and stop focusing on the bad and the flaws that we perceive. it is really difficult. but having a man by your side that loves you and is crazy about you and is SERIOUSLY ATTRACTED TO YOU helps. it really does. imagine if he belittled you? it could be way worse!!!!!!!!
mr. branflake is such a romantic! i love him~!! he sure knows how to make a girl feel better!! and girl, you are soo beautiful!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I fell in love with Cor because he makes me laugh (often at his own expense) so hard it hurts when I feel miserable.
ReplyDelete& I hope you two get to jet-set off somewhere amazing!
your timing is right on target. I feel trapped by these thoughts, and I don't know what to do about it. My husband also makes me feel beautiful and he's amazing for it, but I just want to be free of these thoughts!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing and beautiful, and I think you should ditch Europe and come to NYC instead. ;) Totally kidding-- can I crawl in your suitcase? please say yes. ha! :)
Maria, we are kindred spirits indeed. Trapped is a very accurate word.
DeleteI'm so sorry you had a rough week! I'm confident that even the most "beautiful" women in the world have these moments. When I'm personally feeling this way I do something to make myself feel good, i.e., paint my nails, do my hair in a different style, put some makeup on, workout, etc. Of course the amazing man in my life helps me in these moments, but quite honestly sometimes he can whisper sweet nothings til he's blue in the face and if I don't FEEL it, I don't feel it. Watching something that uplifts my heart puts my life and insecurities in perspective and I'm then able to move forward into loving what God created; me! You are a beautiful woman, dancer, and person in general! :)
ReplyDeleteWhere do I start? On the part that there are days that NOTHING seems to fit right an everything seems to look ugly? Or the part where whenever I look in the mirror it seems that EVERYTHING is bad, and I feel like everyone that looks at me will see it too and then discuss behind my back how "what was she thinking?". And don't even start me on photos... Photos I posted today... Let's just say, I had it saved as a draft for 36 hours and skipped a post yesterday... It took me that long to "woman up" and do it. Because they were too real and much larger. I liked doing film rolls because in the process I could add effects to camouflage me more. Do you want ti know what helps me? Thinking of Tiffany does. The "Branflake" one :) honestly. I think how much you've done to deal with things as how far you've come. And more so, I think how GORGEOUS you are and yet you are dealing with this too . It helps me realize that we do not see ourselves the way we REALLY are. Getting in from of camera and only keeping best shots , and ruthlessly deleting other ones before I even let my mind dwell on it helps too. You are beautiful, so beautiful. And just yesterday as I was going through ALL my jeans ( as that's a lot) I wishes I had your calves - my jeans would look so good on then and my body would be balanced :) XO . keep your tail up. Those days come and go. Let's make them go more then come :)
ReplyDeleteI just love both of you amazing Branflakes. :) Everyone definitely has these days/weeks/months. I certainly do. The things that help me snap out of it are exercise (and just focusing on how strong and capable my body is) and putting things in perspective--just realizing how lucky I am to have a body that can do so much and that isn't in pain all the time. Of course, sometimes it's just a phase and it takes some time to get over it, too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope you do take that trip! You guys both deserve it after the last 4 years!
I'm not sure why it is this way, but as women, we seem to naturally have ugly times. It seems strange that we all feel the same way about ourselves at one time or another. In reality, it is heartbreaking. It shouldn't be this way.
ReplyDeleteWhat gets me through my ugly days? There are a few things I do for myself personally, but there is one thing that really snaps me out of an ugly mess fast - my daughter.
There is so much pushed on girls these days. Way too much, and it is so, so not far to these precious, darling girls. I want my daughter to feel beautiful and amazing about herself every day because of who she is. She is special. All little girls are special. She will never hear me say one negative thing about my body because she deserves more than that. She deserves a mother who will embrace her own personal "flaws" and show her how to love herself. Because no one else will. It will be a constant battle, but it is one that I will not lose.
You are such a lucky girl to have a man like that...
ReplyDeleteI love your images,
traveling and being so romantic
love them ♥
Does Mr. Branflake have a brother? :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I most definitely suffer from esteem issues. I think we all do. And you're right, men gravitate to confident women...
On that note, you strike me as being pretty a confident young lady not to mention, I've seen your photos and you are --gorgeous--. Also, happy belated birthday. Cheers to sweet men and trips to Paris!
We all go through "the yuckies" every now and again. Thank goodness for Mr. Branflake!
ReplyDeleteleslie
Major points for Mr. Branflake. I think my guy should win an award on the level of the Nobel Peace Prize for dealing with MY crazies, too :P Oy, us gals and our insecurities. Working out or dancing hard - whatever makes me sweat a ton and my muscles burn - usually does the trick for me. I feel more confident with me when I feel strong and healthy.
ReplyDeleteYou're lovely, Mrs. Branflake. I am always amazed by your pics and always think, "I wish she could see herself as we all do, because she really is lovely."
xoxo J
Constantly! When you are past 30 single and no children and everyone else has them you kinda wonder what's wrong... Then you go through some bad stuff like I have lately and then all those insecurities are wiped away... I suffer from ugly times but I get over them when I realize that I've pulled myself together throught some tough s**** and feel wayyyyyy better...
ReplyDeleteI have the typical Asian wide pelvic bone, and used to feel ashamed of it. It was difficult for me to buy pants - the long-enough ones were too tight for my butt, those my butt could fit in were too long.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it's only I after I got married that I started to appreciate the width of my pelvic bone, because, first, it's good for bearing baby, and second, it looks good if I wear skirt!