Love Our Bodies: What Happened?

Me and my non-pregnant self in England.

Woman: "Are you pregnant?"
Me: "No."
Woman: "Well, you look like it."

Shockingly, this conversation has happened more times than I'd like to admit. It makes me sad not just for my ego, but because it's a reminder how critical people can be with each other.

When I started blogging about Love Our Bodies, it was supposed to be about accepting each other's bodies: our neighbors', random celebrities', and, most importantly, our children's. It kind of morphed into loving and accepting our own bodies, and that's awesome, but I lost focus of the most important message:

My belly.

Stop focusing on how other people look. I see it on social media all the time. "Her butt is too small." "She's not a woman! Where are her boobs?" "She looks pregnant in that shirt."

And don't get me started on parents making comments on their children's weight. "She's a big girl." "You can tell he likes to eat." "She doesn't have a 'dancer's body.'"

Love Our Bodies is not a revolutionary plea; looking past the physical and focusing on the heart is not a new concept, yet we slip up all too often. We point out physical features on people as casually as criticizing a piece of furniture (can you tell I've got moving on the brain?). It makes me sad it's become socially acceptable to make these hurtful, off hand comments. Especially when parents do it. That just breaks my heart. Even mentioning weight or body shape to a child destroys self-esteem faster than the image of perfection in media we blame all too often.  

Another belly shot. Haha. Sorry, I'm in a snarky mood.

You might be thinking, "Branflake, I know this. Why are you blogging about this?" I'll tell you why; I worry about my students. I see them being pressured from all sides and the last thing I want them to obsess about is whether or not their bodies are socially acceptable. It's a time, energy, and confidence suck they cannot afford to lose. None of us can.

And this is my original message: Loving our bodies starts at home. As a parent, sister, brother, aunt, cousin, we can bite our tongue and stop the comments about how people look. We give tools to young people to help make their lives as wonderful and accomplished as they can be; how they look when they do it is none of our business.

Will you join in my crusade (heh) and stop the body comments?

(For those who are concerned about childhood obesity, mentioning size and shape to an obese child does not help. Focus on health or you'll be sending a mixed message.)