I went down to the shoreline alone. The person I was with didn't want dirty shoes. "Fine by me," I thought, as taking walks alone is one of my favorite things. I saw what looked like a small archway ahead and went straight to it, past the throngs of people and their dogs.
Finally, after who knows how long of walking, there wasn't a soul in sight. And I loved that.
I hopped on the slippery rocks as the water rose to new heights. It wasn't the safest thing to do, but I was determined to get to that archway. And then I stopped to admire the scene ahead; the sun cast the most magnificent orange and pink and blue, almost like the inside of an abalone shell.
And then I got emotional.
Because after weeks and weeks of trying to be busy and not thinking about the difficulty of living without the person who completes you, it finally smacked me in the face: I'm just a shell right now.
My heart is no longer here. It's three thousand miles away with the man who's been by my side for the last nine years without question. Not only that, but California is no longer home. Virginia is home because that's where he is. And even though it was by far the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen, I would give away ten thousand of them to be with him.
I know this sounds all very overly dramatic. I know I'll be fine. He'll be fine. We'll be fine. And just like an abalone shell, there's a certain beauty within being split in two, being exposed, being without. There's colors you haven't seen before and a smoothness you wouldn't have otherwise known existed.
But let's get real... who the freak wants to be a shell?
24 comments:
I don't know how you are managing to cope, it must be very hard, I know that keeping busy is key, but still I understand that your wee heart must be aching.
I don't know how you are managing to cope, it must be very hard, I know that keeping busy is key, but still I understand that your wee heart must be aching.
"Home is where your heart is." I used to think this meant that the physical place that you truly love is where your heart will always be. However, then I got married and my husband was deployed to Iraq. The ache of your heart being somewhere else is terrible. We ended up growing individually and as a couple during that separation. I hope the same for you! Hang on...it may feel like forever, but soon it will just be a distant dream.
I get it. The most beautiful scenery is your loved ones face and being able to see it. Someday when time has passed, maybe I will be blessed to have a love like yours. xo
Oh, these photographs are beautiful Tiffany.
As opposed to a shell, right now I am thinking of you more as a caterpillar who has just built a cocoon. You will stay in that cocoon until you are home {Virginia} when you will become a butterfly. A beautiful, free butterfly. :D
awe love - u'll be with ur man soon enough - being a "shell" is no fun!!! - but take this time to ENJOY in the freedom of your job and the beach - and soon enough you'll be with your complete self and happy as ever! - but don't waste this time either - ENJOY lovey!
Gorgeous pics!
It's moments like this that make you realize how important love is...your tears are justified...
Oh Big HUGS to you!!! It's only going to be for a little while until you guys are together again!!!
I never truly understood until recently what a home meant. It is not where your mortgage payment is...it is where you are with the one you love. =)
Don't be a shell hun, you'll be back with your husband sooner than you know it! =)
@Cafe Fashionista- A cocoon? I love that analogy.
"Home is wherever you are." One of my favorite quotes! I hope your time apart passes very, very quickly for you. & your husband, I'm sure he misses you just as much.
always, koru kate
Ah Tiffany, how sad. Long distance, whether a few days, weeks or month, can be so hard. But you'll make it through!
These photos are beautiful, but the moment and the way you write about it are even more breathtaking. And while it might be revealing and inspiring and bring you closer together in the long run, being a shell sucks.
lovely photos! your post made my heartache for leaving our 'home' in VA, but you're right, home is where the heart is and now that's utah so here's to making the best of things!
Oh lovely, I hate that you feel like a shell. But remember- shells are seriously beautiful, and definitely stronger than you'd think. x
Oh Tiffany. I wish I could give you a hug and a cup of hot chocolate to cheer you up.
I hope you are feeling better.
As a lurker it's going to sound weird when I say that I wish I was there to give you a hug.... It doesn't sound overly dramatic at all. I hope this passes soon.
Awesome landscape and I like your determination in getting right to the place you wanted to be. True, no one wants to feel like a shell, but sometimes sadness is beautiful. Hopefully it does not last. Lovely post.
Aw, this was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Just remember, it's during the hardest times when you grow the most. Keep your head held high!
Isn’t That Charming.
Beautiful pictures, i hope you feel better soon!!
Kristina x
Oh hang in there, you'll get through this relatively brief time of being a shell : )
oxo
:[ i know it isn't easy. the only good thing about being apart is how fabulous it will be when you are reunited. i hope that comes soon!
these are gorgeous!
xx
b
Awe, girl, I'm sorry. I can't imagine. This is such a brief season, you'll be with him before you know it. But you should definitely soak up those California sunsets in the meantime.
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